Aliver Blogsite

Just another Survivors to Alivers Sites site

Wanna know the #1 reason for unhappiness?

Have you ever wondered why not everyone is happy and at peace? Unless you’re an analytical nerd like me you probably haven’t… but seriously, now that I mention it, isn’t it a curious mystery? Why in the world isn’t everyone walking around smiling and overflowing with peace?  Everyone wants to be happy don’t they?  So […]

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It’s not as hard as you think…. Here’s why

I’ve been counseling and coaching people for many years and between this and my own personal journey there’s one thing I know…   CHANGE IS HARD!!! Well… kinda. What I learned over the years was that it was never as hard as I thought it was. The reason change seems so hard is because we […]

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Your biggest problem isn’t what you think it is

Each of us has had our share of hard times both past and present… financial struggles broken relationships with family members emotional pain from past experiences Understandably we ponder these issues searching for solutions to address them. These aren’t our biggest problems though… Our biggest challenges are the ones we don’t actually even have. Many of […]

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Your life is what you choose it to be… choose wisely

We certainly didn’t choose to experience the trauma we did.  If we had it our way it never would have happened.  We wouldn’t even wish it on our worst enemy. We do however, choose what happens next.  Sometimes we’d like to believe we have no control because it relieves us of responsibility and allows us […]

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Be Perfectly Imperfect

Be your best.  Do your best……. Be THE best.  Do THE best. One word changes the directive in these two sets of sentences. We are living a world that asks us to do and be more than our best, it asks us to do and be THE best. Be THE smartest. Be THE prettiest. Be […]

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What If You Fall?

Everything thing can change in an instant. Scary isn’t it??…. or is it? Well, it depends on how you look at it. With a mind geared toward expecting the worst, yes, its very scary.  Many of us are in the habit of expecting the worse. What if it doesn’t work? What if she/he doesn’t like […]

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Its Not That COMPLICATED

“It’s COMPLICATED”  …Facebook status for relationships. Maybe you didn’t actually select it but in your mind you thought, “Man!  My relationship is so COMPLICATED.” For some of us, if asked, that’s how we’d label our lives… COMPLICATED. Someone asks about your life as a parent…COMPLICATED. Your efforts trying to parent your child whose mother/father you’re […]

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How becoming an expert in your trauma helps you heal and find happiness

While I am a strong believer in focusing on positives versus negatives and focusing on the future rather than the past, I also know that there is considerable benefit in gaining an understanding of what you went through and how it has affected you. That is why we have spent so much time reviewing our […]

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Arrival… Are you an Aliver? From “You Survived…Now What?”

AHHHHH!!!! You have arrived!!!!…… Ok, not really… We never really arrive. There is always work to do. The list you made of coping mechanisms, people, places, and things that you wanted to change was likely an extensive one and you probably have not addressed everything you would like to. That doesn’t mean you aren’t an […]

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Forgiveness of self – A prerequisite to healing and peace

We must forgive ourselves. Self-forgiveness is just as essential as the forgiveness of others, if not more.  If you feel you have fault in the fact that you experienced your trauma, take a closer look. While there are examples in which that may be true (i.e. you were at fault in a car accident), there […]

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