Aliver Blogsite

Just another Survivors to Alivers Sites site

Start where you are… start now

We all have goals, hopes, and dreams. lose weight change careers start a business quit smoking save for retirement For many of us these goals, hopes, and dreams have been sitting stagnant for a reeaaallllyy long time. We have a good explanation for that: I’m going to start on Monday I can’t start until I […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Your life is what you choose it to be… choose wisely

We certainly didn’t choose to experience the trauma we did.  If we had it our way it never would have happened.  We wouldn’t even wish it on our worst enemy. We do however, choose what happens next.  Sometimes we’d like to believe we have no control because it relieves us of responsibility and allows us […]

Read the rest of this entry »

What If You Fall?

Everything thing can change in an instant. Scary isn’t it??…. or is it? Well, it depends on how you look at it. With a mind geared toward expecting the worst, yes, its very scary.  Many of us are in the habit of expecting the worse. What if it doesn’t work? What if she/he doesn’t like […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t hurt me and I won’t hurt you…unless I think you’re going to hurt me…then I might hurt you

I wrote a blog last week about always going first (click here to read) in which I talked about taking the risk to be vulnerable and lead by example.  I find myself back in the place that inspired that blog.  At this stage of being an Aliver, I’m finally to the point where I am […]

Read the rest of this entry »

Avoiding Hurt = Avoiding Happiness

Everyone does it.  Just about everyone who’s ever been through anything engages in self-preservation. I’m not going to show him/her my true feelings because I don’t want to get hurt and that’s what happened last time I let someone close to me. I’m not going to develop relationships at work because last time I did […]

Read the rest of this entry »

In a funk?? Get out now!

Even though I’ve been in the advanced stage of healing for a while now, it seems inevitable that from time to time, I fall into a funk.  I suddenly get down on myself, struggle to get along with others, and lose that sense of being an Aliver.  I discuss this reality in my book in […]

Read the rest of this entry »

I always go first

Having experienced extensive hurt by being sexually abused by my brother for a majority of my childhood and raped by my high school teacher, to say that I had trust issues for a majority of my adulthood would be an understatement.  Two people who I was supposed to be able to trust violated my trust […]

Read the rest of this entry »