Aliver Blogsite

Just another Survivors to Alivers Sites site

Wanna know the #1 reason for unhappiness?

Have you ever wondered why not everyone is happy and at peace? Unless you’re an analytical nerd like me you probably haven’t… but seriously, now that I mention it, isn’t it a curious mystery? Why in the world isn’t everyone walking around smiling and overflowing with peace?  Everyone wants to be happy don’t they?  So […]

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Be Perfectly Imperfect

Be your best.  Do your best……. Be THE best.  Do THE best. One word changes the directive in these two sets of sentences. We are living a world that asks us to do and be more than our best, it asks us to do and be THE best. Be THE smartest. Be THE prettiest. Be […]

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What If You Fall?

Everything thing can change in an instant. Scary isn’t it??…. or is it? Well, it depends on how you look at it. With a mind geared toward expecting the worst, yes, its very scary.  Many of us are in the habit of expecting the worse. What if it doesn’t work? What if she/he doesn’t like […]

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How becoming an expert in your trauma helps you heal and find happiness

While I am a strong believer in focusing on positives versus negatives and focusing on the future rather than the past, I also know that there is considerable benefit in gaining an understanding of what you went through and how it has affected you. That is why we have spent so much time reviewing our […]

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Don’t hurt me and I won’t hurt you…unless I think you’re going to hurt me…then I might hurt you

I wrote a blog last week about always going first (click here to read) in which I talked about taking the risk to be vulnerable and lead by example.  I find myself back in the place that inspired that blog.  At this stage of being an Aliver, I’m finally to the point where I am […]

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Avoiding Hurt = Avoiding Happiness

Everyone does it.  Just about everyone who’s ever been through anything engages in self-preservation. I’m not going to show him/her my true feelings because I don’t want to get hurt and that’s what happened last time I let someone close to me. I’m not going to develop relationships at work because last time I did […]

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In a funk?? Get out now!

Even though I’ve been in the advanced stage of healing for a while now, it seems inevitable that from time to time, I fall into a funk.  I suddenly get down on myself, struggle to get along with others, and lose that sense of being an Aliver.  I discuss this reality in my book in […]

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I always go first

Having experienced extensive hurt by being sexually abused by my brother for a majority of my childhood and raped by my high school teacher, to say that I had trust issues for a majority of my adulthood would be an understatement.  Two people who I was supposed to be able to trust violated my trust […]

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